


A Boy and His Demons

by yaboighosty



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Ben Hargreeves' Tentacles | Bentacles, Cliffhangers, Death, Drugs, Eldritch, Ghosts, Sneaking Out, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-04-12 15:28:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21643525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaboighosty/pseuds/yaboighosty
Summary: He knew Ben's time was close. They all did. But now that he's gone, he has no idea how to cope. None of them do.The sky was dim, the sky crying cold tears. Much like the tears that fell from his face. Klaus Hargreeves. Member of The Umbrella Academy - hero, if you will. His tears mixed in with the rain as he was unable to hold it all in. It was Ben's funeral. Ben - almost always classified as the sweetest of everybody in the house, almost even sweeter than Grace. However; now he was dead. Gone forever. How he would cope without him, he didn't know.It is odd how someone can exist one day, but then the next day just... not.Beginning months before his death, past it, and ending when Klaus discovers something he had never known before.
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I did change the title, for it was essential.

The bell echoed throughout the halls of the academy as Grace signaled Breakfast. The sounds of a dozen feet against the stairs rang in Grace's ears and she smiles ear to ear. It was what made her the happiest of most days, or what she thought happiness was. It was the opposite of what she felt when she was with Reginald. Or how she would feel if she could.

Grace watches as each child stands behind his or her chair, waiting for their Father. They giggled and joked amongst themselves; it felt right. Then Reginald arrived, Vanya following behind him, and the room fell silent. He waits a moment, looks around the table, before giving his command: "Sit!"

Everybody sat and dug in to the delicious meal Grace had prepared. It was pancakes, eggs, and bacon - the kids' favourite. Everybody loved Grace's meals. Mealtime was almost always the best time of the day, whether it be breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

It was silent, other than the soft clatter of silverware against plate and other occasional noises. Looks were shared around the table as they ate; Allison smiling at Luther who returns it, Diego kicking Five with a smirk playing at his lips, and Klaus playing footsies with Ben under the table as the latter read his book.

Once breakfast had concluded, everybody stood and disappeared back up the stairs. Ben grabs his book, heading up the stairs as well. He went into his room and threw himself onto his bed after closing the door, continuing to read and determined to finish the chapter he was on. He was half way through the book, and it almost seemed like he couldn't put it down. He thanked Vanya for the recommendation.

He looks over the top of the book when he hears a knock on the door. He places the piece of paper he used as a bookmark into the centre of the book before standing and opening the door. There stood Pogo, and his stomach began to sink as he knew why he was here. "Time for your personal training, master Ben." He speaks, stepping aside for Ben to exit his room. He almost wanted to refuse, though he didn't want to risk it, knowing he definitely shouldn't risk it. Not with Reginald.

He follows Pogo down the hall and into the practise room Ben was unfortunately so used to. He follows him inside and looks down at the floor. "Reginald shall arrive shortly." Pogo speaks before leaving, closing the door. Ben sighs and looks down, playing with his fingers. He didn't want Reginald to arrive. He didn't want to use his powers. He didn't want to let _Them_ out.

Reginald always made him (and the others) do things he didn't want to do. He never liked using his power, and Reginald knew. And Ben knew it was only to prepare him for missions, but he _hated_ it. But Ben would not stop using his powers or going to training, no matter how much he did dislike it. Why? Because Ben always wanted to impress dad.

For starters, it is always about Luther. Luther does this, Luther did that.

_You_ _ know _ _what_ _ dad, if you love Luther so much why _ _don't_ _ you marry him?_

He thought, but of course didn't say. Why? Because he was too sweet. Too polite. Too much of a goody-two-shoes. And everybody knew this. Even Reginald.

Ben never participated in the things the other kids did. Well, most of the things. He would accept an occasional stolen cookie, but only if somebody else stole it. He would look at stupid drawings of father that had bad words written on his face, but only if somebody else wrote them.

Ben sometimes follows the others stupidity and trouble, but never causes it. Who does cause it?

Klaus.

Klaus is in trouble for stealing the cookie. Klaus is in trouble for drawing the stupid (yet comical) pictures of dad. Klaus is responsible for writing all those bad words.

And surprisingly, it is Diego that says something.

Only about the bad words though. They never included Luther in their fun. He is a party pooper.

Ben didn't always get involved, but when he did, he was mostly with Klaus. Klaus just seemed easier to talk to because he was more relaxed. He would always listen and he always had the best advice. He knew just how to comfort him and he never judged him or how he felt. He knew he could always count on Klaus. And vice versa, which Klaus was also well aware.

Here at this moment however, Ben had nobody to count on. Nobody to talk to or get advice from. In this, he was all alone.

Until Reginald arrived. But even then, that made it worse. He watches as dad closes the door behind himself, turning the little key to lock it. "Number Six," He began. "Your training."

"Do I have to?" Ben asks, wanting to avoid using his powers as much as possible.

"Yes. Why wouldn't you?" Reginald asks, looking down at the small boy before him.

"It hurts," Ben responds, hands down to his sides as he looks up at him.

"Of course it will. Life hurts. You won't get stronger if you don't first suffer through pain." Reginald looks away and writes in his book. Ben only nods and looks away. He didn't want to appear weak. He didn't want to appear weak. So he agrees and keeps going. Keeps holding on. Even if it killed him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Here you are, dear." Grace's soft voice echoes in Ben's room. He looks up and watches as she enters, carrying food, a glass of water, and a couple of pills on a tray. Ben sits up in his bed and looks up at her. Grace smiles and sits the tray in his lap before patting his head. "There you go. Take your pill first, it will help with the pain." She smiles her sweet, motherly smile at him. Ben smiles back softly, picking the pills up off the tray and taking them, downing them with the water. "Would you care to have a visitor?" Grace asks, looking up at him. Ben shakes his head, looking up at her as he took a bite out of his donut. Grace smiles and nods before leaving the room.

Ben finishes the donut and sighs, drinking the rest of the water after. Soon, the door opens and Klaus enters, Grace behind him. "Hey buddy," Klaus smiles, walking into the room and patting Ben on the shoulder. "How do you feel?"

Despite all of the trouble Klaus liked to cause and get in to, he was always supportive. After his training, he would come in and check on him, and Ben would do the same to Klaus. When he got out of the mausoleum, Ben would go to his room and curl up beside him, laying there with him, even if they never spoke a word.

"I feel okay," Ben replies to him, smiling softly. Klaus smiles back and nods.

"That's good." He walks closer and sits beside the bed. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

"Thank you," Ben replies with a smile and a soft pink dusted on his cheeks. Klaus smiles more upon seeing this, before he pauses when hearing their father speak.

"Number Six." He speaks, voice loud. Ben frowns and tries to sit up more, even though it hurt. "You have failed your training once again."

"I-I'm-" Ben goes to speak before he is interrupted.

"Excuses will not be tolerated. You shall retry tomorrow." Reginald says before leaving, closing the door. Ben sighs and looks down. Klaus frowns and pats his hand.

"Hey, you did your best. It's probably not easy." He says, voice soft. Ben smiles a small smile at him.

"Thanks.." He says,

"No problem." Klaus smiles and pats his arm softly. "I know it's not easy," he smiles softly.

"It's not easy for you, either." Ben frowns, empathy in his voice.

"Yea, well... yours actually physically hurts you. Mine is just... terrifying." Klaus sighs.

"Mine is too.. hence the name 'The Horror.'" Ben frowns.

"Don't pay attention to that. It isn't horrific. If anything, it's badass." Klaus smirks, attempting to make him feel better. As always, it works.

"Thanks." Ben smiles up at him.

"No problemo." Klaus giggles. Ben giggles with him, looking away. Klaus smiles at him before standing. "I should, uh... go." He nods. Ben nods up at him. Klaus smiles and giggles, holding his fist up for a fist bumb. Ben smiles and obliges, bumping his fist into Klaus's. Klaus smiles and turns, leaving the room and closing the door behind himself.

+++

  
"Number Six!" Reginald shouts at Ben. The young boy kneeled on the floor, one hand over his stomach and the other on the tiles to support himself.

"I-I'm s-" Ben begins, but, as always, gets interrupted.

"Excuses will _not_ be tolerated!" Reginald shouts, same as always. He watches the boy attempt to stand, but fail. "Get up. And do it again." He orders, though Ben was hardly able to do so. But he could not be an embarassment. Though it hurt, Ben stands up onto his wobbly legs, hands clenched into fists. Without Reginald telling him to do so, he lets the Eldritch free, the monsters flailing around the room. They almost jerked Ben's body around, Them being so strong. Stronger than him. Ben let out a loud, pained scream.

Reginald watches as it all unfolds before his eyes, writing things down as he studies the boy and his demons. He watches as he cries, before they all disappear. He watches as Number Six falls helplessly to the ground. He stares at him and studies him, making sure he was breathing and alive before speaking, or else it would just be a waste of breath. "You did better that time, Number Six. We will continue with a new challenge and goal next week." He says before leaving the room.

Ben trembled there on the floor, not making a move to stand for a solid ten or fifteen minutes. When he did move, he was crying in pain and attempting to stand. He makes it to his feet before he slowly limps to his room, though he tries to go quicker so he would no longer be out in the open. He gets to his room and closes the door, hiding. When he collapses onto his bed, he cries. He felt like such an embarrassment. He knew Reginald was disappointed in him; who wouldn't be?

Ben sobs into his pillow. He felt ashamed. Disappointed in himself. He knew he should have done so much better. So what if it hurt? He should have looked past that and did what he was told in order to impress dad, which he knew he didn't do. He felt ashamed in himself and knew he should have done better. He felt worthless as to believe his pain mattered to anyone else.

He felt _alone_. _Alone_ in his own skin, though he wasn't, and alone in his this house. He knew he could count on Klaus most of the time, though sometimes he wasn't there. It wasn't his fault though. He didn't know. How could he? He tried to hold it all in, so he wouldn't be any further of a disappointment.

Ben curls up under the blankets, eyes closed as he hid his face in his hands. When he finished crying, he dries his face and sighs, shifting to stare up at the ceiling. Then it was silent.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ya know, sometimes I wanna tell that old bastard to shove that stupid book up his-"

"_Klaus_!" Allison hisses, though she was laughing.

"Don't say that." Luther was not laughing, though he was the only one out of the group who was unable to let loose and have a good time. Especially if that meant talking bad about dad.

"What? You can't tell me you don't think it too." Klaus looks over at Luther, arms crossed.

"No. I don't. Because unlike you, I actually have respect." Luther says, before continuing. "Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one here who doesn't talk crap about a man who put a roof over your guys' heads."

"Ben doesn't." Klaus argues back.

"Yea, well, Ben is Ben. He won't talk crap about anybody." Luther shakes his head and sips his milkshake. Ben looks over at him, frowning, though nobody paid attention.

"So what? I like Ben for who he is." Klaus says, smiling.

"Of course _you_ do." Luther laughs.

"What's that supposed to mean??" Klaus lifts an eyebrow.

"Nothing." Luther chuckles.

"Leave him alone." Diego snaps at Luther, glaring at him.

"Oh, don't you get involved. It isn't like you're anything special." Luther replies to him.

"I'm more special than you." Diego smirks at him.

"Let's not do this." Allison protests to their arguing.

"Fight! Fight!" Klaus, however, does not.

"Look, all I'm saying is that it is rude and you shouldn't say that stuff." Luther sighs.

"What does it matter what he says? You can't control him, it's best to leave him be." Diego glares out of the corner of his eye as he sips his drink.

"Hm, maybe you're right. For once, Diego _actually_ has a point." Luther smirks. Diego shoots Luther a glare who just laughs.

"We should get back, breakfast will be soon." Ben speaks up, looking over at the others.

"We got time." Diego says, shrugging off Ben's words. Ben just looks away, expecting it, not knowing why he really thought they would listen to him. He plays with his fingers, listening as all of the others talked to one another.

Five sips his coffee, not really talking but listening to all of the words they spoke and sharing an occasional conversation with Vanya. Luther and Allison laughed together. Diego and Klaus talked and sometimes play fought in their seats. When Agnes had come over to make them aware that there was ten minutes before nine, the usual breakfast time, all of the kids stood and began to gather all of their leftovers and wrappers and throwing it away before leaving out the door, thanking Agnes before beginning the journey home.

Luther and Allison laughed at how they were pressing for time and would most likely just _barely_ make it home in time, and how they shouldn't wait so long next time, but how they would enjoy it while it was happening. Ben speaks that he called it, and Luther and Klaus agrees with him aloud, the others keeping silent but also agreeing.

When they arrive back to the academy, they each climb into their windows and into their rooms. Ben adds his tie and blazer back to his uniform, smoothing it down with a sigh. He sits onto his bed, waiting patiently for the breakfast bell. He was not hungry however, as surprising as that was. He hadn't had an appetite lately, which usually only happened when he had the flu. He pushed it aside.

When the breakfast bell was rang, Ben couldn't bring himself to get up. He hugged his arms around his stomach, eyes closed tight. He didn't make an attempt to move, his eyes staying close.

The door opens and Grace enters, going over to him. "Ben dear, it is time for breakfast." She speaks gently, rubbing his shoulder softly. Ben doesn't move - he didn't know if he could. He just keeps his arms around himself, as it helped a little, and his eyes shut. Grace frowns and helps him up, leading him to the infirmary. Ben grips onto her arm for dear life, his eyes half lidded. He was led into the room and helped onto the bed.

Grace frowns and presses a hand onto his forehead. "What hurts, dear?" She asks when she realised he hadn't had a fever.

"M-m stomach.." Ben replies, keeping his arms around himself as he curls up into a tight ball. Grace nods and gently tries to pry his arms away from his stomach.

"May I look?" She asks. Ben nods small after a moment, shifting to lay better on his back and let Grace push up his shirt. She reveals the darkly bruised skin, coloured purple and blue. She pulls away and moves to retrieve pain pills, as that is all she knew to do at the moment. Ben hadn't had the strength or motivation to move to wrap his arms around himself again, as it would hurt either way anyways. "Here, take these." Grace speaks, voice in a rush.

Ben obliges, sitting up weakly to take them and swallow them with the water Grace had provided. Grace strokes his hair gently, smiling softly and keeping her voice calm so that Ben also remained calm. "I'll be right back. You will be just fine." She smiles before leaving the room, leaving Ben alone.

Ben leans back into the pillows, his eyes slipping close. It hurt - a lot. It was borderline unbearable and he hoped the pills kicked in soon. When the door opened and Grace returned with Reginald following her, Ben looks over and almost feels the colour drain from his face. Reginald walks closer and studies the boy before him. "His stomach," Grace speaks quietly to him. Ben stays silent, allowing Reginald to lift his shirt and examine his skin, no less bruised than before.

"Just the results I expected." Reginald responded as if it didn't even matter. "Give him pills for the pain. The bruising will leave shortly. He will be expected to return for training within the next week." He then leaves without another word. And Grace didn't take any action, as she had already given him the pills and knew they would kick in eventually.

"Would you like me to bring you some food, dear?" She speaks softly, running a gentle hand across his hair to smooth it down. Ben shakes his head, losing his appetite, if he even had one to begin with. Grace nods and kisses his forehead before turning and leaving the room, closing the door behind herself softly.

Ben let the tears slip down his face, sniffling before wiping them away with the back of his hand. He felt empty. All he wished was that dad would feel at least a bit proud of him. None of it is easy. Opening the portal inside his stomach isn't easy. Releasing those monsters from his body isn't easy. _Living_ isn't easy.

But then again. This is Reginald. Sure, he was the man who put a roof over their heads and gave them beds to sleep in. But this was also the man that gave no cares whether or not one of the children within the house was dying.

All he wanted was to be loved.


	4. Chapter 4

Ben woke up way past his bedtime. It was late, maybe around midnight, even possibly past then. Ben wasn't sure, he didn't have a clock to be sure.

He wonders up out of his bed and down the dark hall. He enters the bathroom first, gazing into the mirror briefly before closing the door and doing his business. He exits after washing his hands and shaking them dry. He then heads back up the hall, past his own bedroom, and standing in front of another.

He stood before Klaus's door, pondering. What if he was asleep? He did not want to disturb him. He wanted to just open the door, but it was Klaus's right to privacy, and that would be disrespectful. He sighs and goes to turn away before he heard noises of movement from within. These signaled that Klaus was not asleep, he was awake indeed. Ben knocks onto the door softly, biting his lip as he waited.

It took Klaus a moment, but he stands and moves to his bedroom door. He waits there a moment, trying to figure out who it was. He decides to just slowly open the door and see for himself. There stood Ben, rubbing his arm in that cute way he does. "Hey.. it's late," is what Klaus thinks of to say first. Ben looks down.

"I know.. I.. can't sleep. I-I just woke up," he looks back up at Klaus. Klaus was well aware of what this meant: Ben had had one of the awful nightmares he had told him about, and he wanted to reside in his room for the night. And Klaus was not opposed to this. He steps aside, letting Ben enter the room. He enters and sits onto the bed silently. Klaus moves over to him and smiles.

"Hey," he chuckles and smiles. Ben smiles back at him softly before looking away. Klaus bites his lip before standing. "We should get back to sleep." He smiles softly at him. Ben smiles back at him before scooting over to let Klaus in beside him. He crawls underneath the blankets and lays down, waiting for Klaus. Klaus shuts the light out so it is completely dark, except for a small night light to illuminate around the room and keep the ghosts away.

Klaus lays next to Ben, looking over at him. "Hey..." he speaks quieter, looking at him through the darkness.

"Hi," Ben responds with a small smile. Klaus smiles back at him, studying his face. Looking at him like this, his face barely lit by the small light, how he looked up at him with those big yet sleepy eyes. This had began to happen quite often, but neither of them minded.

"We should get to sleep." Klaus speaks. Ben nods in agreement, yawning almost after. Klaus chuckles at him and watches him as he shifts to face the other direction. Without a word, he cuddled up into him, arm slowly wrapping around his stomach. Ben's eyes slipped close, as he didn't mind. If anything, it helped. It helped more than the pills, he sometimes felt.

Ben smiles to himself, closing his eyes to sleep. Klaus kept his arm around him, happy that Ben just allowed him to hold him. He knew he would - of course he would. Ben enjoyed cuddling about as much as Klaus did. Cuddling with him was better than anything else.

+++

  
Their alarms blared loudly, waking up all of the children as breakfast would be soon. Klaus groans and rubs his face as he woke. Ben hid his face in the pillow in a failed attempt to hide himself from the alarm's sound. Klaus smiles at how cute he is and he shakes him gently. "Ben- hey, you gotta get up, buddy."

"Nn.. don't wanna. . ." Ben responds, curling up tighter. Klaus only continues shaking him, hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, breakfast is soon." Klaus continues, watching him.

"Not hungry. . ." Ben looks up at him before hiding his face once more.

"Yes you are. You haven't eaten in days." Klaus frowns, helping him sit up. He smiles sweetly at him and Ben returns it, his face lighting up in a soft blush. Klaus chuckles at that, and how he always seemed to be able to do that to him. He wasn't complaining, however, as it was cute.

Klaus turns away and stands up, pushing the thoughts out of his mind before they could continue any further. "Go get dressed." He says, facing away from Ben as he moves towards his closet. Ben disagrees and doesn't follow Klaus's suggestion, climbing back underneath the blankets and curling up. Klaus sighs. "You gotta go before I get naked." He says, knowing that if nothing else would make him move, that would.

And it did. Ben sits up and leaves the room, eyes downcast. Klaus's eyes follows him as he paces towards the door, chuckling lightly at him once he left.

Ben continues to his room, opening the door and closing it. He leans against the door, looking down at the floor in thought. He was not exactly sure how he felt about Klaus. He was his best friend. Well, he could share his emotions with Klaus when there wasn't anybody else he could do that with. He steps into the room and goes to his closet, grabbing his uniform. He changes from his pajamas into it, getting ready for breakfast.

Once the bell rang, he exited his room and mixed in with the other young members as they shared his destination. He stands behind his chair, as do the others, and he glances around at them all. Luther glances at Allison before looking to their father's empty space. Allison smiles at him and follows his gaze, before looking back to Luther. He did not know their secret conversation, and he wasn't particularly sure if he was interested.

Five speaks quietly with Vanya, sharing a soft, almost reassuring smile at her. He had always felt. . . Something, between those two. He did not know what it was. Maybe they were just friends. Maybe Vanya felt different about Five than he thought, or vice versa. He had always wondered. It wasn't his place to assume things, but he had somewhat of a reason to. They spent a lot of time together, they look at each other different, and he could have sworn he had seen them hold hands before. Yes, friends talk a lot and spend a lot of time together. And maybe he had just been misinterpreting their looks. But he was not crazy, and he knew he saw their hands locked. . .

Then there was Diego. He and Klaus were viciously poking each other, almost hard enough that Ben would think their skin would be left with bruises. He looks away from them, looking down at the book he had prepared. He couldn't wait to continue the chapter he was reading; it had just began to get interesting when he last stopped reading and felt too sick to continue. But now he was better. At least, he thought.

When Reginald entered, everyone immediately went silent and stopped moving almost. Vanya and Five silenced, looking away from each other. Klaus and Diego ceased their poking, moving to keep their hands to themselves. Reginald stands in front of his chair, gazes over the room, before giving his usual command.

"Sit!"


	5. Chapter 5

The night was chilly, cold on Ben's face and ears. He sat in the courtyard alone, thinking. A million questions ran through his mind and he didn't know where to focus. He keeps his arms wrapped around his legs and pulled to his chest, his chin resting on his knees. He stares out into the distance, past the fence that enclosed the academy. It was silent outside, aside from the occasional sound of a car passing by down the street.

"Hello." Ben's thoughts are interrupted by a voice and he turns to see Klaus. Klaus waves, before his hand copies the other one, going into his pocket.

"Hey," Ben responds, quite surprised. His eyes follow him as he joins Ben on the concrete next to him.

"Why are you out here?" Klaus asks, looking over to him. Ben looks away from him and to the sky.

"Just taking a breather." He shrugs.

"A breather?" Klaus chuckles, looking at him and leaning back on his palm that rested on the ground behind him. Ben only nods, humming a soft 'mhmm.'

"And thinking." Ben adds.

"What are you thinking about?" Klaus asks, smiling softly at him. Ben only shrugs again.

"Just... I don't know. Training, the academy, life... me." Ben looks over at him. Klaus studied him, looking into his eyes before Ben broke the contact, looking away.

"What about you?" Klaus asks softly, though he believed he knew the answer.

"I don't know. Just.. what I can do, I guess. How I am." Ben nods, biting his lip.

"What do you mean how you are?" Klaus asked, smiling when Ben looks over at him. Ben laughs a bit and looks away.

"Why are you asking so many questions?" Ben asks, looking back up at him.

"What do you mean-" Klaus began before being unable to finish due to laughing. Ben was laughing as well. "I'm sorry." He smiles. He was glad he was able to make Ben laugh and smile in general.

"It's fine." Ben looks away, shaking his head softly. Klaus smiles softly, staring at him. Ben rests his head back onto his knees, staring forward. "Maybe one day I'll just, not be here." He speaks softly, his eyes closing.

"What do you mean?" Klaus tilts his head, looking down at him.

"Well..." Ben bites his lip. "Not be here. Not have to go through training. Not sitting for breakfast, lunch, or dinner at that table with dad.. Mom is okay though." He says, voice quivering a bit. Klaus frowns at this.

"But... all of those things are better with you there." Klaus speaks with a slight laugh, his eyebrows furrowing together. Ben smiles gently over at him.

"Thank you.. you make it more tolerable too." He smiles. Klaus smiles back at him, staring at him, but not in a weird way. It was friendly. It was comforting. Then Ben looks away.

"I really don't know what I would do without you here." Klaus says, biting his lip. He hated the thought of being alone without Ben. _Especially_ in that house.

Ben chuckles lightly. "Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without you either. It's really nice having a good friend. You know, not just someone to talk to, but someone to _talk_ to. You know what I mean?" Ben looks over. Klaus focuses his gaze on Ben. His mind was lost and he hated to say that he was not paying attention. He only nods and hopes it wasn't a question. Ben nods as well with a small smile and looks away. "We should probably go back inside.. I don't want to get in trouble for not being there." He sighs and stands. Klaus stands as well, smiling softly at him. Ben smiles back before turning and heading inside. Klaus follows behind him silently.

Once back inside, Ben walks up the stairs and down the hall to his bedroom. Klaus had followed him, not sure what to do with himself. Ben only smiles at him, not minding him tagging along. He gets to his room and sits onto his bed, grabbing his book. "Mind if I?" Klaus asks, gesturing to the bed. Ben smiles.

"Of course." He opens his book to the bookmarked page, watching as Klaus sat beside him. He began to read again. Klaus sat quietly, okay that they weren't talking, just enjoying each other's company.

+++

  
That night was the same as last night. Ben woke up to a nightmare and he walks into Klaus's room. Klaus was awake as usual, expecting and seeming like he was almost waiting for him.

Ben knocks onto the door softly, in which Klaus opened after a short moment. Ben smiles softly before looking down at the floor. Klaus didn't need an explanation, he just wanted to make sure he was okay. "What was it this time?" Klaus asks gently. The lights were out, the nightlight was on, and Ben was safe inside Klaus's arms. He was the little spoon, curled up with Klaus cuddled around him.

"Th-them. . And you. . . Vanya was there too. ." Ben replies, playing with his fingers as he felt awkward explaining the dream.

"What do you mean?" Klaus asks, rubbing Ben's arm softly, the other around his stomach. That comforted Ben, made it seem like with Klaus here, They couldn't hurt him, or anyone.

"I did. . something horrible. . ." Ben says, before Klaus felt his breath hitch as he knew he was starting to cry. He frowns and hugs him tighter. "Hey, it's okay. Please don't cry. ." He frowns. Ben couldn't help it. The tears streamed down his face as he sobs, a hand tightening around the blankets. Klaus bites his lip and sits up a bit to press his lips softly against Ben's. Ben pauses, too shocked to move. Klaus quickly pulls away, sitting up.

"I'm sorry- I should not have done that. . ." Klaus says. "Shit- Ben-" Ben just grabs his wrist, and he couldn't have been more thankful that the room was dark so Klaus could barely see what he looked like at this moment.

"P-please don't leave. ." He says, hand tight around his wrist, voice quivering. Klaus bites his lip hard and nods. Ben curls up silently and Klaus lays back beside him, not cuddling into him this time. He knew Ben must feel so awkward. . . That wasn't how he expected his first kiss to be. He didn't even know why he did it, and he knew he didn't gain anything from it. If anything, their friendship would be ruined. . .

Ben felt more tears slip down his face as he curls up tighter. He felt like Klaus regretted it. He didn't know if it was too late to let him know that he enjoyed it and wouldn't have minded if it had lasted just a bit longer. . .


	6. Chapter 6

Klaus had had enough. He felt it all crashing down around him. He hated the ghosts. He could not hide his feelings from Ben any longer. He felt it crushing him and he just had to let him know. He hated having to go to training twice every week.

And oh how he hated the ghosts.

They would torment him, yell at him and scream at him. He was just happy that they couldn't touch him. That would be awful.

He just wanted them to go away. He had feared that there was no way to get rid of them, however. What was he to do? Get high or something?

He laughed at that idea. Though it just might be stupid enough to work. He had heard how that made people's problems disappear. Or, make them better at least. He agreed with himself to try it. Maybe just once. And that decision led to a whole downward spiral.

+++

  
Klaus arrives back home after a party. It was his first one ever, and he felt like he had never felt before. He felt amazing. He felt like he couldn't have a care in the world. And best of all, the ghosts were gone. He couldn't see a ghost even if he wanted to.

But why ever would he?

He had came home, climbed in through his window (surprisingly without falling and/or getting hurt), stripped off all of his clothes down to his boxers, and collapsed onto his bed. He laughed at nothing, and he felt so happy. The ghosts were gone. He was the happiest he had ever been.

Time flew by, and soon it was past their bedtime and nearing midnight. Klaus heard the knock on his door and knew what that meant. Ben wanted cuddles. And Klaus was in no shape to do so. He hurriedly pulled on his pajama pants and went to the door, still nearly as high as a kite. He opened it and there stood Ben, eyes red and puffy like he had been crying. And it was in that moment that Klaus regretted what he had spent the whole day doing. He regretted smoking whatever it was he had smoked. And now, all he wanted to do was to cuddle Ben. But now he felt like it would be the exact opposite. And there was nothing he could control.

"Hey. ." Ben speaks quietly.

"Benny! So glad you're here" Klaus greets him, smiling. "Come sleep with me" he says, words slurred and broken apart in odd ways. Ben frowns, noticing this.

"Are you okay?" He asks gently, eyebrows furrowing together with worry.

"Of course, of course." Klaus giggles and steps aside to let Ben in.

"You're acting weird. ." Ben says, biting his lip. And he was. Klaus had never acted this way. He may have acted similar when he was hyper, bit this was. . . different.

"I promise" Klaus smiles at him, words slurring and eyes blown. He. . . Was he high?

"What's wrong with your eyes?" Ben asks, deciding to confront him about it. Someone needed to, and it was clearly meant to be him.

"Nothing- nothing" Klaus held his hands up in defense, though he knew Ben would be smarter than to know it was just nothing.

"Klaus," Ben speaks worriedly. He didn't like seeing Klaus this way. Whatever was wrong with him, he did not like it.

"Fineeeee," Klaus whines in agreement. "I _mayyyy_ have smoked some- something. But it was for a good cause; the ghosts are gone!" He claps, smiling at Ben.

"Klaus. . ." Ben frowns up at him, showing him how much he disapproved without him saying a word. His gaze showed it all.

"Come on Ben, lighten up." Klaus says, rolling his eyes as he lit another joint that Ben wasn't sure where he got.

"Klaus, stop that." Ben says, swiping it away from him and putting it out.

"Ben!" Klaus hisses back at him, pulling his joint back from Ben's grasp. "Don't take my stuff." Ben frowns at him.

"Why are you doing this?" He says.

"I told you. It makes them go away." Klaus responds, lighting the joint again and taking a drag.

"There has to be another way." Ben frowns and tries to grab the joint.

"Tsk tsk, Bentacles." Klaus chuckles, holding it above his head to where Ben couldn't reach, placing a hand in front of his chest. Ben frowns and lightly smacks his hand away. Klaus looks at him in surprise.

". . . You hit me." Klaus frowns at him, before placing his hand onto Ben's chest and leading him to the door. Ben frowns and tries to fight back, but is unable to stop him.

"Klaus- please. There has to be another way." Ben was close to breaking. He looks up at him, eyes watery. But Klaus didn't notice, nor did he care, in the state that he was in.

"Can it." Klaus responds, blowing a kiss before closing the door in his face. Ben knocks on the door, but Klaus just shouts at him from the other side. He sighs and turns to go back to his room, knowing there wasn't anything he could do about it.

+++

  
Klaus had never felt so _good_. So _relieved_. So. . . Uncaring. He had not a care in the world at this moment. He lays on his bed, smoking like there was no tomorrow, though there was and he knew this.

But there weren't any ghosts.

It couldn't get any better than this. Nothing could make it better. Except maybe. . .

No, no, that wouldn't matter. It doesn't matter. Nor would it make a difference. Ben wasn't here, and that was just fine. What would he do? Yell at him because he was smoking and high? Because it's unhealthy? He doesn't need anybody to tell him what to do. Especially not Ben.

Why? Because he would actually listen to Ben. He cared what Ben thought. Ben was his whole world.

_Was._

A knock on the door interrupted Klaus's thoughts. He stands and dances his way to the door, opening it up and smiling. "Oh- Ben!" He chirps. "What a surprise!"

"Klaus. Please put that out." Ben frowns, gesturing to the cigarette. He needed to talk with him, and that was only a huge distraction.

"What? No, no, this? This is fine~" Klaus giggles. He steps aside so Ben can enter the room.

"Yes. I need to talk to you and that can't be here while I do." Ben manages to take it from his hand and put it out in the ashtray on the bedside table.

"Hey!" Klaus pouts, though he didn't get angry like last time. "Don't do that!"

"I needed to. Now," Ben begins. It was time to get serious, and boy was Klaus not having it.

"What?" He whines, sitting onto the bed.

"Concentrate." Ben tells him, frowning at him.

"Whyy?" Klaus pouts, laying back on his bed. Ben sighs.

"I want to help you." Ben begins.

"There is no helping me." Klaus says, one hand waving around nonchalantly.

"Yes there is. There is help for everyone, you just have to try." Ben says, walking closer to him.

"Look," Klaus stands and walks towards him. "There is no helping me. The ghosts are gone, and it is gonna stay that way." He says as he takes his cigarette back from the ashtray and relights it before takes a long drag, blowing the smoke back in Ben's face. "Now, please leave." Ben frowns at that, waving his hand to rid all of the smoke from his face as he coughs. He didn't like Klaus like this... He missed the old Klaus that he could joke with and talk to about his issues. He missed the Klaus that took him in at night and cuddled him when he had nightmares. He missed that Klaus.

Ben shakes his head at him and watches as his vision gets blurry with tears before he turns and leaves, slamming the door shut behind him. Klaus didn't like that. He didn't like that Ben was affected this way. He didn't like how he just made Ben cry right now with his stupidity. He didn't like how he couldn't start all over.

He sits onto the bed and finishes the cigarette before grabbing the pills he stole from the infirmary when he visited Ben a while ago.

He remembered every feature on Ben's face that day. He was scared and embarrassed and upset, and hurt. Klaus was there to comfort him as long as he needed him. He gladly offered him cuddles and anything else he needed. He was there for him. He thought he always would be there for him.

These are the thoughts that run through his mind as he swallows more pills than he should have. And while in his high he consumed even more. In this moment, he would have never assumed that because of his choice now, it would effect his choices in the future. Not only did it effect his choices, but also those who loved him dearly.

It effected Ben the worst.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Always.

"It is time for your personal training dear." Grace smiles at Ben. The boy looks down and slowly stands, not ready for it. Never ready for it. He allows her to lead him to his training room in which he would then wait for Reginald. Ben looks up at Grace, eyebrows furrowed. "Please don't let him hit me again..." He says, frowning.

"Don't worry dear. Your father is kind and would never do anything to hurt you." Grace protests his words, patting his hair softly.

"But he has," Ben looks up at her, shaking his head. Grace goes to speak before Reginald enters. She looked from Ben to him and smiled softly.

"He is here for his training, Sir." Grace spoke to him with a smile.

"Thank you." Reginald responds before making a waving motion with his hand. Grace smiles softly at Ben before turning to leave, closing the door behind herself. Reginald then focuses his attention onto Ben. "Release them." He would say without a care of the boy.

"I can't," Ben shakes his head. "It hurts a-and I lose control.." He would respond, playing with his shaking fingers.

"You will never gain control if you don't try." Reginald hissed back at him. Ben looks away and clenched his fists. He couldn't do it. He's tried, but he ended up looking like a constipated dolphin. "Do it, Number Six!" Reginald yells at him, always growing impatient. He tried to, but he couldn't do it.

Then it happened again.

A hard hand came in contact with his face twice and he stumbles back from the blow. "You can't do anything right!" Reginald hisses. Ben holds in the tears as he listens to his father's insulting words. He felt his throat burn as he held in his tears at the mention of his weight, however that came into play with him being unable to release the Eldritch. His father's words were always harmful to the boy. He hid it. He _never_ let him know it phased him.

"Get out of my sight." Reginald would hiss, pushing him out by the collar of his shirt. Ben shakes and walks down the hall, unable to hold in the tears and sobs as he knocks on Klaus's door. He knew he was more than likely high again, and that hurt him even more. He hated watching Klaus throw himself away like that. It _broke_ him.

The door opened and Ben looks up at Klaus, the hot tears spilling down his cheeks. Klaus immediately frowns, surprisingly not high as a kite. "Ben-! What's wrong??" He would speak, immediately leading him into his bedroom. "Talk to me, Ben!" Though his voice is filled with worry, he stays calm. However, all Ben can do is cry.

Klaus pulls him into his comforting, safe arms and rubs his back softly. "Hey.. talk to me." He speaks softly, holding him close. Ben didn't know it, but he was the most important thing to Klaus. More important than food, his health, and most definitely drugs. He don't know what he would do if he lost Ben... He wouldn't be able to function, that's for sure.

"J-just training.. it sucks.." Ben sighs and avoids eye contact, his gaze downcast.

"It does... what happened? Anything specific?" Klaus asks softly, his head resting on top of Ben's.

"Not being able to do anything cause I'm weak, and getting punished for it." Ben shrugs and pulls back as if it was nothing. That's how he treated it. If it were Klaus being treated that way however, he would be _peeved_.

"Hey, don't talk like that." Klaus gives him a warm smile. "You can do anything. You're so strong! Stronger than me." He chuckles. "Don't let him get to you. What does he know?" He smiles sweetly. Ben smiles back soft. Klaus's words always helped, though he still felt bad. He smiles up at him before looking away again.

"Thank you." He smiles small.

+++

That morning after, Ben woke up earlier than normal. He rubbed his eyes and wiped his face free of tears and sweat. He wanted to try to release the Them again, only to please his father. That is all he ever wanted was for him to be proud of him like he was of Luther.

Luther...

Thinking of him made him think of everything that had happened with him in the past. He remembered how he had treated him... 

Ben had always been easy to manipulate. Always an easy target. And Luther took advantage of that. Before he was interested in Allison, he would ask him to do things he mostly wouldn't rather do. Even when he did get with Allison, he would make him do things, mostly by telling him he would be his best friend and never leave him, or by telling him he was proud of him afterwards.

It always worked.

Ben stands and gets dressed in his uniform before Grace rings the bell for breakfast. He exits his room slowly, looking around before heading down the hall. However, he is stopped by a familiar blonde boy. "Ben! Good, you're awake. I need you to go see what's for breakfast." Luther would say, though be knew Ben would get in trouble if he went downstairs before they were dismissed from their rooms to do so.

"I can't," Ben always protested, and Luther knew Ben would get in trouble. "I'll get in trouble."

"Just do it. I'll back you up." Luther would always respond, though he never did back him up. He never took the blame. It was always Ben's fault.

Everything was Ben's fault.

Ben would turn away from Luther to head back to his own room, however Luther would just grab his arm and lead him downstairs. "Come on Ben, dad isn't gonna do anything" he laughs and rolls his eyes.

_Dad _ _wouldn't_ _ do _ _anything_ _ to Luther._

Ben just follows him, unable to decline. He could only go with him, keeping his eyes downcast. Keeping his mouth shut as he obeyed like little Number Six always obeyed. Luther had always called him submissive. He never knew what it meant at first, but he caught on quickly. He would always follow Luther, always do what he wanted. Always unable to stand up for himself. Always little, submissive Number Six.

+++

Klaus hated Luther for many reasons. He was annoying, his ego was bigger than the f-ing moon he was obsessed with, and he always pushed Ben around. He had the poor boy wrapped around his stupid finger. And when Ben had finally got away from him thanks to Allison, Klaus vowed to protect him and keep Luther away from him. Whether Ben knew about this or not.

Klaus would make sure to have Ben close to him - or at least in sight - at all times like a worried mother. He made Ben feel welcome and happy, at least he hoped. He made sure Ben didn't feel overwhelmed or like he was being treated any less, like he knew Luther always made him feel. He made sure he felt happy and safe with Klaus.

He did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
Hey!! I apologise for the wait for this one!! I have been super busy and life gets you ^^ Hopefully now that I have a new phone and an actual game plan for this story it will get easier to update!  
A big thanks to those of you who have gave kudos and who have read this story in general, I love all of my viewers and I hope you love this story as well!! 
> 
> Much Love,  
CP


	8. Chapter 8

Breakfast was silent as always. Every child eats their own food in silence, exchanging silent glances around at each other. Ben read his book, obeying the rules and never looking at anyone else, let alone speaking to them. He kept his gaze down, eating his cereal. He felt Klaus tapping his foot, but he doesn't look up.

When they were dismissed, Ben would leave to his bedroom to finish up his chapter. When he did finish it, almost as if on cue, Klaus enters. Ben smiles softly at him and watches as he starts to pace. "Klaus? Are you okay?" Ben smiles softly at him, his head tilted curiously.

"No. I'm not." Klaus sighs and looks him in the eyes. "I just... I figured something out." He says.

"Oh? What is it?" Ben smiles softly at him.

"I..." Klaus paused again. "I- no. I'm not." He says, sighing as his hands go into his pockets, eyes downcast.

"What's wrong?" Ben asked him softly, standing and placing his hand onto his shoulder softly.

"I..." Klaus tries, but he stops himself. He only continues pacing.

"Yes?" Ben responds, watching him. He frowns and sits onto the bed.

"I... I don't think I like girls." Klaus spoke quickly, staring Ben in the eyes. Ben stared back at him, blinking. He took in his words and Klaus never really seemed all too interested in females, now that he actually thought about it.

"Really?" He asks, watching him.

"Look, it doesn't matter." Klaus says, frowning. The thought Ben of all people would understand...

"Wait- it does. I'm not judging you." Ben replied quickly, not wanting Klaus to think he didn't respect or support him. "What does it matter?" His voice was gentle as he asks. Klaus knew how he meant it.

"It doesn't.. so what if I like guys?" Klaus says. He knew Reginald didn't respect it at all. But he should have expected Ben would support him no matter what. "You don't think I'm weird or gross?"

"Why would I think that?" Ben asks softly and grabs his hands, standing on front of him.

"I don't know.. I should have expected you of all people to be okay with it. I mean, I did, but," he pauses and looks down. "I'm rambling, I know."

"You're okay." Ben smiles sweetly. Klaus smiles back up at him. And for the first time, he _really_ looks into his eyes. And they were beautiful.

+++

Klaus couldn't believe it. He just told Ben how he really felt - about guys, not him - not yet-

He needed to stop thinking.

That is when training came again. He had no other choice but to follow Reginald down the path to the mausoleum before he is forced to go in. Once the doors close, it gets bad.

Klaus ends up on the floor, huddled in a corner as he sobs and cries out for Dad.

A dad that would never come.

He hugs his knees as tears mark up his cheeks, the ghosts screaming and shouting in his face. He didn't even know what they wanted... They never say. All they do is scream and shout and cry and yell.

It felt like it would never end.

Then, in that moment, the door opened and light poured into the small cold room, the ghosts finally disappearing.

"Have you overcome your fear of the dead?" He speaks before Klaus got the chance to open his mouth. He nods, his small body trembling.

"Please can I go home?." He asks, face and eyes wet with obvious tears, his voice shaking. He sits up on wobbly arms, his legs underneath him. His chest rose and fell with each shaky breath he took. There was a long, dreadful silence. Klaus's heart raced as it rang in his ears before Reginald spoke once more.

"Three more hours." He says before the door slams shut.

"No!!" Klaus screams as the ghosts return, screaming louder than before. He cries out, only wishing that his father would return...

+++

Three more painful hours passed and the door opened once more. Klaus lays curled up in a small ball, hands over his head so that his arms covered his ears the best he could. His whole body trembled and he sits up once the door opens, light pouring into the room once again.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, Number Four." Reginald speaks. Klaus suddenly stands and runs out of the door. Reginald doesn't stop him.

He runs up to his bedroom and he closes the door, shutting it tight before collapsing onto the bed. He cries and curls up underneath the warmth of the blankets as he sobs. His whole body trembled and he grips at his hair, crying. He wasn't quiet either, and he knew it.

Suddenly the door opened and Ben entered. He closes the door behind himself and immediately goes to Klaus, sitting beside him. "Hey.." he speaks in a gentle voice. He pulls the blankets from around his head gently and untangled the boy's hands from his hair before holding them. "It's okay, its me," he spoke gently. He watched as he shifted in his lap, burying his face into his thigh and continuing to cry. Ben frowns more and continues petting his hair gently, hoping that helped to calm him.

Once he calmed enough to talk, Ben tries once more. "Are you okay? What happened?" He asks gently, rubbing his arm softly.

"T-training happened..." Klaus replied, voice broken. _He_ was broken.

"Oh.. I'm really sorry, I know training isn't the best.." Ben speaks gently as he attempts to comfort him.

"It's awful..." Klaus says as he breaks into tears once more. Ben continues petting his hair softly, eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"It'll be okay.. training is awful for me too." He speaks softly as he continues petting his hair. Klaus curls up, now silent. Ben frowns softly and runs his fingers slowly through his curls, looking down at him. Klaus looks back up at him silently, playing with his fingers. He looks into his eyes, studying them. They were super cute, Ben was super cute...

He mentally punched himself. Even if Ben had relationship preferences like his own, he would never go for Klaus...

Ben smiles sweetly at him and Klaus could have died. However, he only smiles back.

+++

Once night arrived, Klaus made sure Ben was fast asleep before he got up. He knew that if Ben knew what he was about to do, he would be super upset. He didn't want Ben to be upset, neither did he want him to know. He hated keeping things from him, but this he just had to hide.

He stands and gets dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants he stole from Diego (where he got them he had no idea) before turning to the window. He opens it, then pauses. He moves back over to the bed silently, pressing a gentle kiss to Ben's cheek before proceeding to climb down the house.

Klaus shoved his hands into his pockets and made his way down the street. Where he was going, not even he knew. He needed something to help him forget. To get them away.

He had heard loud, muffled music from down the street and decided to find out what it was and why it was so loud. He walks down the sidewalk and makes it to a small building. A line waited outside but Klaus was curious now.

He found his way around to the back of the building, biting his lip. His curiosity had gotten the best of him and he walks in through the small door at the back and into the dark abyss of loud music and unhealthy substances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for such the long wait- it has been super busy! Hopefully I will be able to update more frequently, as I hope so as well. 
> 
> Thank you for the love! 
> 
> CP


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